two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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