he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
