he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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