Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
