dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
porn star boner night. come get it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
