i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
