Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize