He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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