just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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