hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
