I just saw a hot homeless man
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
