I got chris browned last night
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
