...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
