did you get engaged???
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Randomize
