I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
