bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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