im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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