I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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