Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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