Whod you bang
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
time to smoke my breakfast
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize