yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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