just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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