Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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