i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
