I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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