one two three fourrrrnication!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you didnt know i had herpes?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
