Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
