So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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