one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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