Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
