Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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