Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
me + whiskey = a bad person
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
