Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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