We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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