no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
