Are we in a gay sports bar?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
birth control should be required to get into college
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
