Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH