i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.