Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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