So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
