i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
