I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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