i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
