How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize