Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
