Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you never un-have a 4some
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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