I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
