i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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