If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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