You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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