Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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