I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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