i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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