Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
