In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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